Parenting Styles: How They Shape Your Relationships

Coming into this world, we all seek emotional connections right from an early age. Parents try everything they can to live for their children and secure healthy emotional attachments. They try to inculcate into their children’s minds the values and morals they have been living with. It is said and proven through many studies that children model behavior. They learn as a result of nurturing provided to them by the people around them. As we grow, we experience numerous things that shape us to be the person we are at this point in our lives. Parents and Families try to create self-reliant and responsible adults in their ways of child-rearing. These parenting styles can tell you a lot about how the child is most likely to develop soon.

The minute we step into this world we humans develop an emotional relationship with another human. Parents who are the primary caregivers leave no stone unturned to give the best to their children while focusing on secure healthy emotional attachments. Susan Forward & Craig Buck in their book “Toxic Parents: Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life” wrote, “Children who are not encouraged to do, to try, to explore, to master, and to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Over-controlled by anxious, fearful parents, these children often become anxious and fearful themselves. This makes it difficult for them to mature. Many never outgrow the need for ongoing parental guidance and control. As a result, their parents continue to invade, manipulate, and frequently dominate their lives.” They ingrain into their children’s minds the values and morals they believe and practice in their everyday life. It is said and proven through many studies/ research that children model their behavior through the learning and nurturing provided to them by their immediate social environment. It is primarily through their child-rearing practices, that the parents and immediate family create self-reliant and responsible adults in society.

Every individual’s attachment style in romantic relationships is mostly predetermined by the type of relationship they have had with their parents and how they were raised. Research shows that the development of traits and qualities of romantic relationships begins in early childhood. These can be determined by the parenting styles used by the parents of the child.

When we focus on the topic of attachment styles in a romantic relationship or work relationship, our early childhood relationship with our primary caregiver comes to the forefront. Intensive research has highlighted that the development of traits and qualities of romantic relationships and at work begins in early childhood.

We at transform happily, do not deem any parenting style to be strictly followed but want parents to be aware of how they can influence their child’s behavior and help their child partake in future healthy relationships.

We at Transform Happily, respect each parent's contribution towards their child's growth and encourage you to be the best version of yourself, while focusing on the importance of parenting style influencing a child's behavior and future relationship patterns.

A child always craves warmth, affection, and care from their parents as they grow up. If these needs are not met, they develop ways that help them deal with this lack of emotional connection. Across various researches, parenting styles can be classified into three concepts that individually affect the child differently.

The quality and quantity of warmth, affection and care we get as infants and continue into adulthood determine our relationship styles. If these needs are not met, they develop ways and traits that help them deal with emotional scarcity. Across various researches, psychologists have classified parenting styles into three concepts that individually affect the child differently.

Authoritative parenting is when the parent shows the child equal amounts of warmth and demandingness. They show love to their child abundantly but also make sure that their children are held responsible for their actions and behaviors. Setting limits, encouraging honing life skills, and disciplining the child are also key practices seen in such parenting. Such a type of parenting style is suggested to be the best kind of parenting for all children. It is observed that this parenting style is healthy and aids in the effective growth of the child. It is because the children learn right from wrong while they constantly feel loved and protected. Children growing up in such households learn to trust and have healthy relationships. They mostly grow up to be fair, realistic, and all-knowing of their comforts and boundaries.
Authoritarian parenting on the other hand shows less warmth towards the child while the demandingness might be high or extremely high. In such parenting styles, the child might feel neglected and unloved due to the lack of affection they receive. Parents here might feel like they are being strict with their children so that they don’t repeat the same mistakes they did, or to get them to do what they think will be the best possible route for their child to grow up in. However, such parenting styles might make children have low self-esteem and self-confidence. They might develop distant bonds or overly needy attachments in their future relationships.
Permissive parenting is when parents shower their children with an abundance of warmth, love, and affection while the demandingness is low or nonexistent. In such parenting styles, the child is rarely held responsible for their actions and is always made to feel like they are the center of attention at any given time. Such a style, in particular, can cause the child to get into relationships where they demand attention and are never willing to adjust, understand or make sacrifices as and when needed. These relationships can turn toxic and have a vast impact on the confidence of the individual when he realizes that not everyone in the world will treat them like their parents did. They might end relationships feeling like they are not appreciated or loved even at minor inconveniences.

Research time and again suggests that the best predictor of adult attachment style is the perceptions that people have about the quality of their relationships with their parents as well as their parent's relationship with each other. While these early patterns of behavior might not be a definite predictor of future behavior, it surely is one of the biggest contributors to behavior and personality formation in young adolescents. Early identification of problematic families and parenting behaviors can help lessen as well as improve behavior formation.

There is a lot that happens in life that we might not be able to make sense of right now. We might be having multiple failed relationships, a lack of satisfaction in relationships, or are faced with other challenges and there is an overwhelming feeling taking over us. In situations like this, it is always better to talk to a trusted knowledgeable adult or seek professional help that ensures anonymity. If you face any such conflicts, visit us at www.transformhappily.org, contact us at our toll-free number 1800-833-8747 or email us at transformhappily@gmail.com.

Rachel R Vaz